A second reminder… we will be closed on Thansgiving as well as the day after Thanksgiving. But fear not, that’s not all you have to read today!

The other day, and by the other day I mean on a crisp fall evening back in 1991, Joey Kocur of the New York Rangers appeared to shoot a hockey puck literally through the net. The NHL had recently adopted instant replay and what I’ve just described is exactly what the replay suggested. However, there appeared to be no holes in the twine. How can a hockey puck travel through a net without breaking it? The goal stood, but it remains a mystery I at times still ponder.

The other other day, and by that I mean this past Sunday, I made the best garlic bread of my life. I made meatballs too. Delicious!

Well, friends, the New York Rangers are out of the playoffs, so as far as I’m concerned it is now officially baseball season. At least it’s May. For the past few years in my mind baseball started somewhere between October and January.

I chopped off my handlebar mustache this morning. It just wasn’t working like it did a few weeks ago. The left side, it looped out instead of up. Someday it will be back.

I would write more, but a health inspector just walked in… yikes!

On Monday morning I stared Destiny in the face and a single tear drop fell from Her eye. I’m serious. Destiny is my cat, and I capitalized “her” to be tricky. It was pretty strange, if not poetic, and definitely highly appropriate given a sequence of events that has occurred this week.

The latter of those events revolves around the fact that somehow the New Jersey Devils are the Atlantic Division Champions, and the New York Rangers, who never trailed the Devils until last night, now sit sixth in the Eastern Conference. The good news is the playoffs start Saturday and the good guys face-off against the bad guys in the first round. I’ll be doing everything I can to keep Destiny smiling!

It’s time for a hot dog. Now THAT’S a good idea.

This morning, at 1:02 and three seconds, the official time and date was 01:02:03-04/05/06. Last night the New York Rangers clinched a playoff spot for the first time since 1997:).

Here’s part 7 of 11.

Last night I was at a hockey game- quite possibly the last one I’ll attend in Pittsburgh this year. In light of that, I’d like to take this opportunity to plug Pittsburgh First, the organization behind the plan that proposes a new privately financed arena in the same neighborhood that Mellon Arena is currently located. Check out their website. Consider signing the petition.

The way I see it is this. If slots are coming, here’s to having something much more useful bestowed upon the public in conjunction and for free. Like a state-of-the-art multipurpose arena!

Perhaps I’ll have the chance to attend hockey games in Pittsburgh for years to come.
Perhaps you’ll have the chance to see that band that never comes here because there’s no suitable venue.
Perhaps that person to your right will have the chance to see whatever it is that floats her boat. Like the Professional Bull Riders Rocky Boots Invitational.
Perhaps we’ll all have the opportunity to see these things in an ambience that doesn’t connote crumbling concrete and something like a 30% chance of power failure. I hope so, even if I am a Rangers fan.

This morning I was in a public restroom- quite possibly not the last time I’ll visit one in Pittsburgh this year. There was a man in one of the stalls. He had a large box labeled “frozen beef patties.” That’s really all I could see since the stall door was closed. It looked like perhaps there were lots of aerosol cans in the beef patties box.

As I was washing my hands, the man in the stall started making friendly conversation. That’s a little odd, but you know, I told him I was fine. Then, as I was leaving the commode area, he started yelling for me to come back. “Hey!” he remarked.

I thought to myself, it’s 7:45 in the morning and you’ve closed yourself in a bathroom stall with a frozen beef patties box full of unidentified objects. I don’t think I really want to do you a favor given the circumstances. I vacated the premises.

Have I ever told you I’m a lefty? I have three roommates, and it turns out they’re all lefty too. That’s definitely not normal, which is completely normal for me.

Well, I’ve bit the bullet, friends. I’ve started my own “MySpace” page. Megan, my business partner, has had one representing Hot D***a for a long time. I’ve never had much interest in it. But, that’s changed. In the past month so many people I know have been talking about “MySpace.” I’m on the bandwagon now.

The most exciting thing is that I’ve found Jed Ortmeyer, fourth line winger for the New York Rangers, on MySpace. I’m still waiting to hear if he’ll be my friend. No offense to Jed, but in my mind he’s much more famous than he is in reality. Because of that I like my chances!

You can be my friend (officially) by creating your own profile and visiting, www.myspace.com/timisnotjoking. If you don’t want to do that, well, we can still be friends. We’ll keep it on the down-low. You’ll be in good company, too, because Hot D***a has yet to approve me as its/her friend (officially)!

It’s official, the Pittsburgh Steelers are my third favorite team in professional sports. They were fun to root for before because I’ve lived in the heart of Steelers’ country for the past three years, but now they’ve purchased my affection. Thanks to the Steelers and PNC Bank, Hot D***a has had its best day on record.

Only the New York Rangers and New York Yankees rank ahead of the Steelers now, because, hey, no amount of money can ever replace childhood memories. That said, I will root for the Steelers above all other football teams for the rest of my life and I will make an effort to keep up with them no matter where I find myself in the future.

NBA teams take note, a “favorite” slot is still available to you. Bidding starts at $500. Inquire within! 31.

Porcupines can shoot their quills. Until someone can prove to me otherwise, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Tonight Mark Messier will have his number retired by the New York Rangers, and it just so happens that this week Comcast cable subscribers have a free preview of “NHL Center Ice.” Until I learned this two days ago, I was seriously pondering driving to Canada immediately after work today. The game doesn’t seem to be listed as televised there, but it has to be, right? I mean it is the true north strong and free. After all, they know what they’re doing up there when it comes to ice.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that this website is the recipient of a Canadian Web Award. That’s because it’s “Canadian friendly, unique, informative, and the Canadian consumer benefits from visiting it.” No joke. I once had a pair of customers from Nova Scotia. Me and the Canadians, we’ve got rapport.

There’s a show on NBC called “The Office.” Last night my cousin Brenda (a vegetarian) played “Brenda” on the episode “Booze Cruise.” She’s very talented. She wrote a play called “Matt & Ben” a couple of years ago. I don’t think she acts in it any longer, but I highly recommend that you look into seeing it. It’s hysterical.

I don’t know if I’ve ever shared this with you, but I have BIG legs. I mean they’re really large. I can’t wear loose-fitting jeans unless the waist size is about ten inches too big, because “relaxed fit” jeans on me might as well be spandex.

Growing up, I loved watching Mike Richter, the great New York Rangers goaltender. I happen to know that he has big legs too. Every year I would read the Rangers Media Guide and note that Mr. Richter stood 5′ 11″ and weighed 185 lbs. I aspired to one day be his height and weight. The odds were against me since my dad stands only 5′ 6″ and my mom is a petite 5′ 2″. In fact, no one in my immediate family has ever topped 5′ 8″. Yet today I stand exactly 5′ 11″ and weigh 185 lbs.

If only I had been smart enough to aspire to have Mike Richter’s talent, instead of his body-type. Perhaps Mike Richter and my cousin Brenda (they’ve never met) should take a road trip together and visit Hot D***a. We could talk about life on television and what it’s like to have big legs. Brenda, however, wouldn’t talk about having big legs. She’d eat a veggie dog. 6.

Yesterday I had a revelation about the word “amen.” It’s always sounded a little funny to me. I realized that’s because it would make more sense as “themen” or “aman.”

Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry here. Over that time I’ve been reading a lot of Harry Potter. I’ve been sucked in. Those books are good. In fact, I’m not sure whether I’ve read more chapters of Harry Potter or consumed more hot dogs since I last made a posting. That’s saying something!

I’m pretty excited that the National Hockey League has decided that playing hockey should once again be at the core of what they do. I’m also pumped that a certain Mr. Sidney Crosby will be calling Pittsburgh home, although admittedly I would have preferred to see him end up in a New York Rangers sweater. Anyone know what Nova Scotians like on a hot dog??